Trick or Treat

Every Halloween, I think of Linda. It's been almost 20 years since I said goodby to her. I remember thinking then "Please don't die on Halloween!" What I really was saying was "Please don't die!" She died the day before the goblins and the ghosts knocked on the door. She laid in the bedroom, slowly leaving earth while making her way to heaven.

I hope that everyone could meet someone like Linda. Her eyes sparkled, and her laugh was healing. She and her family took me in for a little over a year, while I tried to figure out my life. Many, many nights we would sit on the kitchen counter and talk. While the family slept, our late night pajama parties gave me a place to learn how to be. Batting my eyelids, was her favorite lesson. She had picked out a handsome guy for me, and was convinced if I flirted with him I would soon be his wife. I was able to keep up with him on the tennis court, but batting my eyes did not come naturally. It looked more like "a bug in my eye" than love's invitation. He found someone else. I still have not learned that lesson. My teenage daughter has learned it well. She is beautiful, and voluptuous, and can bat an eye. Even my son can do it....how I found a husband without batting is amazing. I caught his eye by being assertive and asking why women were not invited on a backpacking trip. That, and the navy blue shorts I was wearing worked wonders for me.

I never, ever heard Linda complain. Ever. She accepted what life brought her, with a faith that God would always be there. When she found out that the cancer in her brain was not going to go away, she started making plans. She planned her funeral, her gravestone, the pallbearers, the songs. She went thru her private correspondence and tossed everything that might hurt someone, someday. She was leaving earth with no regrets. She told me once, that she asked God to let her live long enough to see her kids grown. I think she knew that her life here was not going to be a long one. Her kids are grown now with kids of their own. I see Linda in their faces. I see Linda in her daughter. I see Linda in her son. I see Linda in my life, in the way I treat others. I feel guilty when I complain.

I will never forget sitting at her feet, by her favorite chair with a blanket over her lap. I knew by looking at her, it wouldn't be long. She was tired. Her words had become jumbled and didn't make sense. In perfect English she said "I want to share with you something I've never told anyone." I looked in her eyes, trying not to cry, and for ten minutes listened to her pour out her heart. She was relieved when she finished. I did not look away for an instant. I was given such a huge, priceless gift. "Thank you for sharing that with me Linda". I did not understand one jumbled word.

I miss you Linda. I still do.