Hospice Reject!

Hospice Reject!
Originally uploaded by jrdesigns.

Empty the Trash!

There's nothing quite as intriguing as that little trash can icon on my computer desktop. Its sits there quietly, filling up day by day. The last time I checked I had about 800 pieces of trash. I hesitate to empty it. There have been days, I have dug through that trash, looking for a file, or a note I didn't think I needed anymore. I had to confirm an appointment yesterday, and I couldn't find the email reply. I, in my cleaning mood, emptied my trash.

I do the same thing in my office. There sits my rubbermaid trash can. Full. I don't think it holds 800 pieces, but it does hold a lot. And I can recount the many times, I've had to dig in it, looking for some note I wrote myself. I'm a graphic artist. Filing away information in folders does not work for me. Out of site, out of mind. Can't find it. Piles are different that trash. I know what's in my piles most of the time.

I use my trash can also as a tabletop to hold important papers, as I sit at my computer and design intricate brochures for million dollar corporate clients. Haven't lost anything, yet. Another reason, not to empty the trash.

I opened the door to my teenage daughters room. I can't find the trash can. I think her whole room is one. It took my breathe away, and I slowly closed the door and backed away. My son's room is no different. My husbands trash can is the top of his dresser. Its also the place spare change gets tossed. He empties that trash can about twice a year, or when things start falling off the edges. Even my dog, Zoe gets into the trash. She has a different motive though, she is looking for food. She is quite clever in pulling over the metal heavy-duty-dog-proof-trash can. If there is even a little bit of the liner showing, she grips it with her teeth and down it goes. Now, I've never actually seen her do this. I'm just imagining her mischief when I am away. I end up cleaning up after her. I don't mind her mess as much. She's a dog, and lacks opposable thumbs. My family doesn't believe in emptying their trash and they do have opposable thumbs.

Then there's my friend Bernice. I am teaching her how to use a computer. I think she asks me more questions about that icon, than anything else. I have spent some time in her home. And when she needs to find something, she goes to the file, and gets it. Amazing! And it doesn't matter how many times I tell her that she will never fill up that trash can, she insists on opening it, looking inside and throwing things away. She wants to see that empty trash can icon. I sometimes wish I was more like Bernice. But then, when I need to dig through my trash looking for something important, it would be gone.

Six Months Left

What would you do if you only had six months to live? I've asked my kids this in the past. "We'd travel the world and see all sorts of new things." My daughter I'm sure would have on her list "shop til you drop", and my son would make a pilgrimage to Xbox kingdom to play unlimited video games. They are both teenagers, and their lives seem to point inward. I think I would travel to see all my friends and tell them how much they meant to me.

My friend Connie, just got the terrible news from her doctor. Six months. Cancer. Lung. I cried for a week just thinking about it. I can now talk with her without a kleenex, but the tears are just below the surface. I got on my scooter the other day, and went and visited her and her husband. I got the grand tour of their lovely home, and we stopped by each picture, as I heard the history of how so many people all over the country are related to them. Some by blood, but so many others by friendship.

She told me of all the people that are coming to visit. I'm sure everyone of them will ask her how they can help, and they will leaved bless by her. I think Connie will be the one comforting all of us, as we see her health slip away. She is making sure her husband is well taken care of when she's gone. She's cleaning out closets, and replacing windows and doors. Her home will be just the way she likes it when she leaves.

I keep thinking if I knew the end was so near, if it would be a blessing or a curse. I've know people that have literally dropped dead on the spot. And I've know others that linger on. My dear friend Linda, who battled cancer, knew she only had a short time. She, like Connie, got everything taken care of. And that included her friends. She let us know that she was sad of course, but that heaven was just on the other side. I see Connie doing the same thing. I want so much to do something, and yet, everytime I talk with her, I am the one comforted. Comfort is the blessing part of this. Cancer is the curse.

I met her at the gym. The Early Birds are what we call ourselves. I'm the young one of the bunch. Every morning we exercise, and then meet for breakfast. We are a lively, unique bunch of people. And after Connie got the news from her doctor, there she was, not traveling the world to see exciting places, but with her friends, on the stationery bike, next to her husband Ken.

You are an amazing woman!
I will see you someday on the other side.

NOTE: 2 months later....I had breakfast with Connie this morning. The last time she saw her doctor, he was amazed that she was doing so well. She marched in there, and told him, that she didn't want any more predictions, he could keep that info to himself. She was going to wake up and live each day to the fullest.

ANOTHER NOTE: 6 months later....Connie just got kicked out of hospice! She is a walking miracle and still works out at the gym in the morning.