Live a Little

"You need to live a little. You need to roll down the windows and stick your head out! You're going to regret it someday, Mom. You just need to loosen up"

I'm a child of the 60's. I used to wear flowers in my hair, and march for peace. I wore tie dye, and beads, and hip huggers and wide belts. I was part of Earth Day, when the earth didn't get much notice. Live a little? I went to Europe with a backpack. I slept in youth hostels and carried my guitar so I could strum and sing on the streets. I was cool then!

Now, I'm a mom. Granted, I spike my hair, and have a nose ring, but I am still a mom. I take my daughter shopping so she can buy tie dye, beads and hip huggers with wide belts. She plays the guitar. She is cool, and I need to loosen up.

I'm not sure where all the years have gone, and how I lost my coolness. Maybe its when I birthed my children, and became responsible. Maybe its when I took my daughter shopping and she didn't like anything I choose. She was 2. I lost some of it, when my kids wanted to sleep in fancy hotels, and I wanted to go camping. I lost even more of it when I got a mortgage on a house, which meant I had to work and pay the bills. It takes a certain kind of seriousness to handle this life I've created. I think I lost most of it, when my dad died, and my mom got diagnosed with cancer....again. The thought of being an orphan scares me, even if I am an adult.

So I'm trying to become more cool. I've got a myspace account. For a few days I was a 17 year old, single, and not interest in children. I'm not sure how those adjectives got attached to my account, but it was disturbing to my daughter when she read "not interested in children." I changed it to be who I am. 53 years old, married with kids.

I will roll down those windows and stick my head out one of these days. Right now, its about 100 degrees outside. I will wait for a cooler day.

CLOWNING AROUND TOWN

Click on title above to go to my new project. Painting a 6 foot clown for Tidewell Hospice & Palliative Care here in Sarasota. All clowns will be auctioned off to raise money for the children's services. It's a great fun project. Join me as I create my clown.

Link: http://web.mac.com/judyrobertson/iWeb/Clowns/Welcome.html

What I've Learned From Trees.

With coffee in hand, I sat as a bump on a log in the middle of Brown County State Park, near Nashville Indiana and listened to the stirrings of a new day. It is moments like this, that helps me shed all the clutter of daily life, and I can take on the issue of the world around me. Trees. Big trees. How would I paint them? What color what I put on my palette? They're everywhere... it shouldn't be hard. Years ago, I signed up for a plein air art class with my friend Linda. Part of plein air painting is standing out in the forest and try to see the trees. My trees were blobs on the canvas. Linda did a much better job of capturing the essence of them. I gave up on trees, and she went on and became a very successful painter.

I haven't thought about trees much lately, until I had a conversation last week, with an art teacher from high school. It was art teachers that changed my life growing up. I found acceptance in those classes. Annette was the best. Not much older than her students, she opened the world and accepted us for who we were. And, she saw something in me, when all I could see was depression and not fitting in. There was a small band of us, that naturally gravitated towards each other. Our artist souls were beckoning to each other, when words couldn't be found. Our creative projects became home for us, as we fed the essence of our being.

Annette talked about taking an art class and learning how to paint trees. I smiled thinking of my blobs. "The teacher keeps commenting on how I well I can capture the essence of trees"

I found the secret this morning to painting trees. Its not all the greens, and browns to brush on the canvas. Its the light coming thru that give the contrast. I don't think I had enough in my life years ago to see the light coming thru the branches. I only saw the blobs of my life. They all blended together. Linda, could see it. Her life growing up was such a struggle of conflicts and contrasts. Mine was ordinary. It wasn't until later, when life forced me into the hard parts, and the joy of discovery, that the contrast started to become clearer to me. I can see the light now thru the branches. I can see how to paint those trees. Linda found it right away. Annette is discovering it now.

Its time, to pick up that paint brush again, and paint those trees.